is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
