her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I touched a dick in church today
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
