just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
