The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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