You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
