I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
