Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
