I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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