conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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