This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
When did angry sex become our thing?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
