The maid of honor just puked.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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