I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
