i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
