I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
