I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
