I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
