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• (702): View more from Nevada

  I love you!

  (323): View more from California

  You're insane

  (702): View more from Nevada

  Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!

  (702): View more from Nevada

  Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha

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• (613): View more from Ontario

  Sorry, I don't speak sober.

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.

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• (646): View more from New York

  vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic

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• (772): View more from Florida

  i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me

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• (239): View more from Florida

  Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.

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• (905): View more from Ontario

  he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions

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• (864): View more from South Carolina

  There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.

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• (408): View more from California

  But college guys get to crossfade so there's that

  (305): View more from Florida

  No idea what that is

  (408): View more from California

  Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...

  (305): View more from Florida

  I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.

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