It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize