yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
