We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
