someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize