I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize