It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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