My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I'm too high and old for this...
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
