you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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