i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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