therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize