Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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