On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
