My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize