i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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