Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
