So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
