Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
