So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
