You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
