look no pants
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize