I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
