see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
