When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
