Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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