It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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