THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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