Christians are straight up FREAKS
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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