guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
