I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
