when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
