: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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