someone threw a dead crab at me
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
