so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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