1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
