I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
