you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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