Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
