she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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