Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here

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(501): View more from Arkansas

What happened to him?

(1-501): View more from Arkansas

He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum

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(320): View more from Minnesota

I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...

(1-320): View more from Minnesota

It's been a bad semester.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(860): View more from Connecticut

He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze

(713): View more from Texas

My liver has a boner

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(936): View more from Texas

I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night

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(910): View more from North Carolina

Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.

(234): View more from Ohio

... other people's boyfriends.

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(503): View more from Oregon

His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.

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