I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been