Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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