i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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