i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
