ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
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Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
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Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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