The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize
